How NOT to spend Persian New Years

If you hear some people wishing each other a happy new year, don’t remind them that they’re late for both the Gregorian calendar New Years and the Chinese New Years.

This weekend is Iranian New Years. Or if you like, Persian New Years.

Which brings up the perfect Persian New Years movie: 300. After all it’s got lots and lots of Persians…most of them getting swatted like flies by a superior Spartan crew. And you got Xerxes as the Persian leader, a towering articulate God-King who loves his piercings.


Okay, so it’s probably the worst Persian New Years movie in the history of Persian New Years. But it’s also not a very good movie for any other occasion either…unless you heckle it. No doubt this movie will serve that purpose for years to come.

There is a debate about whether this movie is like a video game or not. Personally, I don’t play video games so perhaps it is. But most of the people who say so are making the unsophisticated claim that it mirrors a Mario type of level climbing. Sure it is but so is say The Wizard of Oz.

Even if calling it a video game is being done as a compliiment, does that make it more precise? I must admit watching this movie did conjure up scenes from video games, the kind where you walk around and shoot people like Counter Strike. And just as video game environments are computer generated, so too was director Zack Snyder’s. But I would still refrain from using the video game label, because most video games (as I’m lead to believe) are better than this movie. The intricate stories, characters, settings, etc. of a game like Zelda most likely far exceed anything 300 has to offer. So I’m not sure it works as a compliment either.

However, we must agree that no matter what you think of the movie itself, the end credits are pretty comic book cool. When will we get a movie stylized like that?

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